General Conference

In addition to being spiritual, General Conference always proves to be fabulously entertaining. I had a large group of friends at my place for breakfast and to watch the Sunday morning session; but nothing quite compares to the following story which comes from an email sent by my co-worker. I got such a great laugh that I knew it must be shared.

This, I guess, is what we all have to look forward to when becoming parents!


Saturday was full of football and volleyball games so I TiVo’d the Saturday sessions. The rule in our house is that everybody watches the Sunday morning session and then the kids only have to listen to the prophet in the afternoon session.

The morning session went something like this:

Opening prayer ends.
Megan: Is it almost over?
Jaden: No you idiot, it just started.
Megan: Mom, he called me an idiot.
Jaden: That’s because you just asked an idiotic question!
Daisha: Both of you are idiots, now be quiet!
David: All of you stop calling names! You are ruining the spirit of conference!
Megan: There’s a ghost in conference?
Jaden: Not that kind of spirit, you idiot!
Megan: Mom, he called me an idiot again!
Daisha: Jaden, she is only 6. She doesn’t understand anything.
Jace (the 2 year old): STOP IT! (he just randomly yells this when the other kids get too loud)
Jaden: Yeah, she’s dumb.
Megan: (in fake tears): Mom, they said I’m dumb!
David: All of you shut your mouths and listen!

SILENCE FOR ABOUT 7 GLORIOUS MINUTES

Megan: Is it almost over?
Jaden: Oh my gosh Megan, of course it’s not almost over!
Daisha: Duh Megan, you have no concept of time.
Megan: Mom, Daisha said I have no sunshine!
Jaden laughs hysterically
Daisha slowly repeats: NO CONCEPT OF TIME!
Megan: What does that mean?
Daisha and Jaden proceed to explain the concept of time in very condescending, rude, and loud voices.
Jace: STOP IT!
And then they all start to tease each other and wrestle as David and I tell them over and over again to quiet down and listen.
David: OK, anybody who does not shut their mouth and listen to the rest of the morning session will be required to watch the ENTIRE second session.

SILENCE FOR 5 SECONDS

Megan (meekly): We were just having fun.
Me (out of frustration): WE DON’T HAVE FUN AT CONFERENCE. NOW SHUTUP AND LISTEN!

Needless to say, I didn’t catch very much of conference. I did TiVo all of the sessions but I will probably just read them in the Ensign….I don’t get much out of conference on conference weekend!